Treating the Body with Self Abuse...So Pleased That is in the Past!

I have been talking a bit recently about the journey I have had with my body. What struck me today, is that despite all the self abuse (mostly mental), my body works so well. Every morning so far, I have woken up breathing. This has been irrespective of whether I have run a marathon (which let me say I will never do), whether I am a size 8 or a size 12, whether I have had a green juice or I haven't...I still am breathing! AND what is most freaky about it, is that I haven't ever had to make that happen. My body has just done that itself. Seriously, when was the last time you celebrated that?

Today in the gym with my trainer (who totally gets me), she asked me how I was going. I said "honestly, I feel a little disappointed. It's like when you make all the effort to save up a bunch of money, go through the deprivation, the conscious saving, saying 'no' to things because there is a bigger 'yes' and then you go and spend it ALL. For a while it feels great that you have spent it...and then you realise you have none left and you have to start again". I said, "I'm a bit annoyed I spent so much time saving and now have nothing to show for it". After we pondered on that for a bit, and I did some more push ups on a ball we looked at that again. "Well", I said "I have learnt SO much about myself in the process, so instead of wasted money...it's tuition, it's education...right?? We both laughed.

Today as I nearly fell over, puffed out I had a brief moment of self abuse. I felt embarrassed and frustrated, comparing myself to whare I once was fitness wise to where I am now. Once upon a time I would have gone into a down right crazy lady attack on self and would have launched into self deprivation and pretty much over exercising and under eating! As I type that, I am filled with SUCH relief that I am not that person any more.

I can now treat myself with kindness. I can look to my body for all the amazing stuff it can do. Seriously, if you have done a yoga class with me you will know that I can twist into some serious poses and LOVE it. I know it is in the small changes over and over and over turn into big changes that stick. The changes I am making are purely out of respect for my body to support it to do what it does already so well. To keep me moving, keep me mobile, to pick things up off the floor, to run after the kids, to hug them and throw them around in play, to dance when I am cooking, to feel light in my clothes, to feel strong.

Whatever I do now, is what I want to be doing when I am 80. I wont be running marathons, training for the olympics, breaking world records, I will be chasing after my grandkids, dancing with my friends and arm wrestling my husband (or wrestling still - too much info?). I totally understand the desire people have to 'go hard, or go home' and I am so happy to pick up the pom poms and be chief supporter FOR them...I just know, that me and my body...we like it 'be gentle and listen to each other'.

If you are self beating yourself because you don't fit some super charged 'perfect' mould, ask yourself...who said you had to anyway? It aint anyone but yourself. You get to decide to change your mind my friends.

I'd love to hear about your relationships with your body.

As always, speak kindly to yourself!

Jen
xx