There is purpose in every birth of every child, including me.

Wow. What a couple of weeks I have had.

It's a blur really. Extreme sadness. Forgiveness. Hurt. Love. Laughter. Joy. Connection. Distance. Uncertainty. Certainty. Awareness. Oblivion.

I have had a profound awakening, that hit the very core of my being. That at 6 months of age, in my beauty and perfection, I was rejected. Me, the baby was rejected. Me the creation of that man, was rejected. My core belief of not being good enough I believe started here. On that day. And over time, I have 'onion ringed' that belief. BUT I am back to it now. I see it. I feel it. I undertand it. It's time to let go and surrender. Forgive.

My mum, experienced the same rejection. She was put up for adoption when she was born, so her energetic rejection came immediately after she came to this world. Some would say before she came here, given her mother had intent to put the child up for adoption.

For the longest time I have fought the connection between my mum and I, but now I see it so much more clearly. I am scared. I am uncertain. I am trusting. I am love. It is time to let go and forgive. Surrender.

As I sit here, in the pit of my stomach I feel sick. I am being told that there is more to release. More to let go of. More to process. More.

I am open to removing the pain. I am open.